1. |
My Sweet Dearest
02:11
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I wrote this for a short-lived band I was in where we wrote and covered songs from Nickelodeon's "Doug." It's part autobiographical and part Doug but the lines between the two continue to blur.
My Sweet Dearest,
this night has been the clearest since I first moved to this town.
I never knew this feeling before you and everything has got me down.
My heart has been broken from the start and now my eyes fill with tears.
I now question if I should even mention the way that I've felt for years.
And it's just like you once told me, "I'd like to know you, and you only."
When will that day come to be?
The night air is so cold, maybe with you I can grow old.
Do you feel the same about me?
My Sweet Dearest,
Tonight you are a spirit and I am looking in all the wrong places.
Our first date was awkward, it was great, and now the blood runs to both of our faces.
You turn inside to leave, no longer can I breathe, but I can still feel your touch.
Feeling cold and alone, I start to head for home, then the light in your room comes on.
And I rush home just to call you. What I said, well it was all true.
How could I give you the key?
Being with you just feels right. Dreaming of you, I can sleep tight.
When will that day come for me?
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2. |
The Parade
03:02
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This is an old track, written back in high school or early college. It's about being bummed out by everything you see and coming to a realization that no matter how hard people try, things don't want to be changed and I may not see things come to fruition in my lifetime so I'll have to find my own happiness.
In the space of things we find we're losing our minds
But in our point of view, reality is altered with time
I am lost in the scheme of dreams I'd like to achieve
My life has since become a letdown of what I used to believe
Though I know what is true and I know what is real
But in a sense of my existence, I'm not sure how I feel
Is it all just an emotion with no fact to the base?
Or does the blood act on it's own accord and rush to my face?
Well there's a line to be drawn and it is worn on our sleeves
From the events we iron into our memories
If we really are all that we do, I am nothing
We go around in circle and our lives do revolve
We parade around waltzing, hoping to resolve
The issues that occupy our every useless thought
And we abandon every lesson we were ever taught
The people close to us hurt but we ourselves are in pain
So who is left to let us know if we are crazy or sane?
But still this world spins and our feet stay on the ground
Unless we find an escape, our heads float up in the clouds
And we alter the beat with the tapping of our toes
And when those first chords hit, we synchronatically know
We really are all that we have and we're all that we need
We build ourselves up in hopes to tear ourselves down
And with our hearts in our fists, we drive our souls to the ground
We cement our bodies in the rubble we spent our lives tearing down
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3. |
The Story
03:15
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This is the first song I wrote back in late 2014 after having years of writers block. Life had taken it's toll and I wasn't feeling well for awhile. I kicked everyone out of the band and wrote this as a way to explain my behavior for the past few years and to apologize for neglecting my friendships.
when i was a kid i was so happy, things were great
i had some friends, i was outgoing, now things have changed
i still have some friends but i tend to never go out
there never is a valid reason to leave my house
you know i know that i've dug my own hole
you know i know you know i won't quit until it's full
i'll never know when it ends or where it goes
maybe you can tell me how the story unfolds
i'll never have a problem never leaving my room if it means i'll never hear from the likes of you
i will always remember how i got this way, it's not the fact that i'm sad, no, i'm not afraid
the reasons i'm depressed are problems all of my own, the only drinks i ever take are shots of being alone
i can't help but think this is no longer my home
i've always been an honest man but never true to myself
these past few years have really been hard hating everyone else
the faults i've made, you know i'm so sorry, i never meant to hurt you
the walls that i build all around me is just a thing that i do
you know i know that i've dug my own hole
you know i know you know i can't quit until it's full
i may never know when it ends or where it goes
i've made my peace and now the story can be told
so climb aboard this ride there is so much to see and watch it burn and fade out into misery
i may have trapped myself within these four walls, is it insanity to write all of this on a bathroom stall?
i wasn't always like this but i'll never swear that i never missed the memories and i didn't care
but it's for when the heart breaks, i could never prepare
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4. |
I Hope You Come Around
04:37
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This song is super old that I wrote back in high school. It's been my ultimate singalong hit and I felt that, once again, it needs to come back but in a more mellowed out form. It's about being young and falling in and out of love with friends and how destructive some coping mechanisms can be. It somehow continues to apply to my life today and I guess that's why I just can't stop bringing it up.
I've waited for this day to come true and the demons that I've battled for days
Are nowhere to be found so I hope you come around because I'd like to see your face
I've been drinking since you left yesterday, never wondered where you've gone
You took my soul, split it in two, and now I've just got the blues but I'm starting to like the change
Because when I think of home you know I'm thinking of you
and when I pour a drink you know I'm really pouring two
and if I go to hell then I would be so blue
Unless it meant that I'd get to spend the rest of my life with you
The times are bringing me down and this place, well it will never be the same
All the fun we had, the good and bad, forever make me sad and glad and I know that it's all part of the game
If I were to die right now, my money all went to the drinks.
I've been digging this hole and when I grow old then I'll finally stop being such a jerk, or not
Because when I think of home you know I'm thinking of you
and when I pour a drink you know I'm really pouring two
and if I go to hell, man, I would be so blue
Unless it meant that I'd get to spend the rest of my life with you
Because when I think of home you know I'm thinking of you
and when I pour a drink you know I'm still pouring two
and if I go to hell then I would be so blue
Unless it meant that I'd get to spend the rest of my life with you
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5. |
I Saw Stars In Your Eyes
03:40
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This was a song I wrote after another bout of writers block I had after finishing "The Story" and it was written for a band I played banjo in called Ramblin' Rounders. It's one of the songs I'm more proud of lyrically and really reflects some deep down feelings I have and relating it to someone who's lost their loved one.
It's a long and lonely winter and these boots, they never dry
But here I stand and start to wonder, "Was I born to sit and cry?"
Well the days are slowly passing and the leaves change with the fall
But in your eyes, I can't stop dreaming. Still, I wait to hear your call
And in the moonlight I saw your face for the first time
And oh the stars were shining bright in your eyes.
I wish you were mine.
Some things I'll never say, (") I hope to see you somewhere along the way (")
Leaving has always been a habit, now my tears are falling on your casket
When we met by the willow and your hair, it smelled so sweet
You said, "Boy, why are you waiting?" You took my hand and kissed me
Through the years, been wanderin' lonesome and my hat would hang down low
I can feel your presence near me as its down the road I go
And in the moonlight I saw your face for the first time
And oh the stars are shining bright in your eyes
I wish you were mine.
Some things I can't erase. Oh the touch of your embrace.
I whisper as you lie in your casket, "My heart is your's, you've always had it."
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6. |
When I Leave
02:27
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I wrote this in late 2016 around the time that I realized that I had to change my life. I had grown stagnant and complacent and lost touch with reality. I wasn't sure if my life had any meaning to anyone and felt selfish even thinking that I could mean something to someone anyways. I've never wanted to be a burden on the people I meet so I distance myself and then wonder why I did that and why no one would reach out to me. But this song is kind of about that but also letting people know that I still love them even though I'm distant and quiet. It's also about falling in and out of love and wanting to find someone to spend my life with. There's a lot of subtleties in here and I don't think they need much explanation. It's the most simple song I've written but the lyrics are some of the deepest.
I always thought that I was someone
I always thought I'd make you proud
I always thought I turned the light off
When I snuck out of your house
There's something I've yet to find
There's someone I forgot
There's something I must find
Or leave me behind
I always thought I'd never leave here
I always thought the train rolled by
I always thought you'd leave a light on
When there were tears left to cry
There's someone I must find
There's something I forgot
There's someone I've yet to find
Or leave me behind
Will you turn the light off for me?
Will you leave the light on when I leave?
Won't you sing an old soul song with me?
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